Mercyful March ~ Nightmare

…new character profile? XD Yes. I blame Earthbound and it’s awesome influence. And yes, that name was shamelessly yoinked from that game too. Kind of.

Also Alptraum = Nightmare.

Nightmare [n]: 1) A frightening or unpleasant dream; 2) A very unpleasant experience

Mercyful March ~ Hopeful and Hopeless

Heh.

For this entry, I actually wanted a thoughtful title but it just sounds cheesy. Oh well. It doesn’t matter. XD; It’s just a title.

I just… want to talk a little bit. About many, many things.

Have you ever felt like crying, even when you’re in the middle of a street or in school or with friends? No matter where you are? There’s this sudden urge to stop and just cry a little bit? For no reason?

Well, maybe you’re happy, maybe you’re sad. But you can’t help that urge, you feel like sobbing and whimpering and just crying?

Yeah.

It’s weird. This usually happens to me when I’m playing videogames. It’s no secret that I love games more than anything when it comes to my hobbies, aside perhaps from rping.

I’ve cried at the end of Persona 3: FES. That was when my sister wasn’t home and I finally played the whole game by myself. I made all the decisions by myself. I hung out with friends, trained, talked to my team members. I loved being Minato. In a way, he was always alone. And at the same time, someone was always there. Maybe lurking in the depths of his mind, maybe when he was talking with his friends. He lived his life to the fullest and for that, I envy him.

He was strong enough to make the decision of accepting death as a part of himself and that it was what would await him sooner or later. And for him, it came sooner. He lived after he was supposed to die, he lived for his friends. He kept his promise he made with them.

And then he died. No regrets. He was happy.

And I cried so hard. Just remembering this brings tears to my eyes. I loved that boy. More than I have ever loved a main character before. He’ll always be my hero too. And considering that in canon, Persona 3 takes place this year… I’ll keep thinking about him. Heck, maybe I’ll even plan my days like him. Just… I want something to remember him by.

He influenced my life a lot.

Talking about influence, there’s another game that influenced me before I even played it.

Mother 2.

That game is just brilliant. It is so simple that it’s complex, it’s so happy that it’s already scary.

You play a boy, just a boy. He doesn’t fight with a sword, he has no heavy armor. He only has his bat, his normal clothes and his psychokinetic powers. He gets homesick from time to time, he leaves his home because he knows that it’s the right thing to do, to safe the world.

His friends are no different. Paula fights with a Frypan and while she relies on her PSI powers a lot, she’s just a normal, good-hearted girl. She lives with her parents, helps them and is kinder than many of the people in the game together. She has a inner strength and trust that I envy.

Jeff is the only one who can’t use PSI powers but he makes up for that with his intelligence. He has a knack for fixing broken objects, he’s like any other boy. He has his hobbies, he’s good at them and he tries to help others with his gift. He is brave, he leaves his home to help two people he’s never met before just because he can.

Poo… Poo is brave and strong. He knows it’s just duty as a prince but at the same time, he is just a kid like any of the others, he has much to learn. He tries to be wise and thoughtful and does his best to support the people he’s supposed to help, just because he can.

The game’s main theme, if you ask me, is trust. Trust in yourself, trust in your friends and trust that someone… someone will always help you. Even if they don’t know you, you can reach them.

That’s made clear in the final battle of the game. You’re running out of options, your enemy keeps healing himself and there’s nothing left to do but pray.

And you can pray.

Paula is the one with the special ability to pray and in that battle, she makes good use of that ability.

And people actually hear her. They support her. Pray for and with her.

Until the darkness gets so great that no one can hear her prayers anymore.

No one but you.

And you sit there, staring at the screen, crying while you just wish and hope and pray for those children, who have their whole future ahead of them, you wish for them to win and be happy and safe.

And the game allows you to pray. You are, in the end, the one who helps them. You’re the one who makes the difference. You’ve been with those children for a long time, you know them. And the feeling of despair that they might die just makes you cry.

 

Sometimes, games are the only way I can cry freely, without feeling like an idiot. I don’t like crying in front of other because I don’t want to be weak.

But lately, thanks to certain people and certain games… I have been changing. I’m only human. I can’t grin and bear it all forever. Crying doesn’t solve the problem but that way, all your anger and sadness will find a way to escape. It’s nice.

I don’t even know what I wanted to say anymore when I started this.

But I want to say this, to everyone who read this:

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be human. And it’s okay to feel alone. The feeling will go away. Just believe that it will.

Scattered in February ~ Wooop!

I’ve been inspired again! |D Yeah, I’ll write some more, explaining some things of my last entry. Let’s just say that the title will be:

The second face.

That’s all for now folks, time for bed for me~

A Month full of January ~ Funeral Song

Hehe~

This is actually a part of Robi’s and my own roleplay… But I just wanted to share it with you all. :3 Yes, it’s not really happy. >D I’m already going to hell so let’s add something to the evergrowing list of things I should not do.

EDIT: Written within ten minutes, whoop! XD;;; I need to flesh this out a bit more tomorrow.

 

 

Once upon a December ~ DANG IT

GTFO OF MY FRIGGIN HEAD PETSHOP OF HORRORS || PHOENIX WRIGHT CROSSOVER! D:

No, Edgeworth will not make a good pet for Phoenix or the other way around and dang it, stop calling Mia kitten Diego or else I’ll really beat the snot out of you in court once I got T&T.

…also: Dear Juan and Matt. Matt especially. Stop bickering in my head when I’m trying to get some sleep. You two are horrible, horrible people and I love you two too much for my own good but… please.

PLEASE. Stop bickering over who gets to top.

Seriously. I hate you two sometimes. T_T;;

Sometime in November ~ Aria of the Soul

I’ve been way too quiet on here lately. >< I must remedy this!

…by writing another character profile. Clearly, I must be insane. *chuckles*

And now… Go go go Levi!!

October October the summer is over ~ Nagisu!

…what, you thought I was out of muses? NEVAH!!

October October the summer is over ~ More muses

My muses have been nagging at my mind again lately. XD; And after spending a day on deviantART, watching a very awesome flash, I decided to give into their wishes.

Remember Taellin? Both of them? …This is probably going to get a bit complicated now. The person I’ll describe now is neither of them but close to what they are. Could have been. In a different world. In a different universe.

October October the summer is over ~ Magnolia

I’ve trained my High Priestess Blanchet on Saga for a bit today. I don’t know, now I feel like writing a small drabble/fiction… Well… Here I go?

 

Wake me up when September ends ~ It’s been a while

…since I’ve done this. RPing over at Saga with Sis Mei today inspired this actually. I noticed that I never really did write a character profile for Naoto Amano, my Ninja. I guess… here we go?